A heart breaking discussion has taken over the New York Times parenting blog Motherlode for the past week. A 22-year old graduate student, Emmie, wrote in to the blog asking readers for advice. She recently learned she was pregnant while in the midst of a grueling graduate degree program. After receiving nearly 700 comments back, Emmie sadly decided to seek an abortion. Here is what Emmie wrote about her decision:
A lot of your readers asked if I could take time off from the graduate program. They do not allow for any time off. There’s no deferral, classes are only offered once in the two years, and there aren’t any incompletes.
I’m looking at 20 hours in class and 20 hours of papers and field research out of the classroom. Students with part-time jobs found it nearly impossible to keep up with the work, and a baby is not a part-time job. They also warned me that professors aren’t just tough, they can be especially harsh to the pregnant women in the program.
By the time the baby would be due, there would be papers, projects, research. I can’t miss a single class without risking the whole program, that’s just the way it’s designed.
I’m looking at 20 hours in class and 20 hours of papers and field research out of the classroom. Students with part-time jobs found it nearly impossible to keep up with the work, and a baby is not a part-time job. They also warned me that professors aren’t just tough, they can be especially harsh to the pregnant women in the program.
By the time the baby would be due, there would be papers, projects, research. I can’t miss a single class without risking the whole program, that’s just the way it’s designed.
Emmie also visited an adoption agency where she said, the director was "so supportive and sweet that I walked away choked up but not in tears — it was the first day I didn’t cry."
The situation that Emmie faces is not uncommon. In fact, one third of all abortions obtained are by women ages 20-24, the age when many women are in college, graduate school, or in the first years of their new career. If the story of Emmie teaches us anything, it is that as a society, we need to show these women our unconditional support.
Pregnancy care centers are vital in this effort to help women who feel unable financially or emotionally to provide for a child. The loving care and support they provide is paramount to stopping abortion. The editor of Motherlode, posted a link to a unique organization called Finished Up. This organization provides help to women in exactly Emmie's situation: pregnant students.
Since Emmie's post explaining her decision, another 650 comments have flooded in to the blog and more are arriving every minute. Few comments, however, asked "How can I help?" If we truly want to eradicate abortion, this is the question we should all be asking ourselves. "How can I help?" Maybe it is by volunteering at a pregnancy care center, maybe it is donating money, or maybe it is calling a friend who is pregnant and listening. Whether it is baby-sitting for a single mother, knitting baby blankets, or offering a warm hug, there are so many ways we can help these women who are frightened and alone.
Whatever the case, the story Emmie reminds us that there is a large amount of work ahead of us, as a movement and as a nation.
